Pro Love

DSCN0640

© 2017 Jenuine Healing. All rights reserved

The reason reincarnation is not openly accepted is because it directly challenges the importance of procreation. Endorsing large families is a form of control. Yet until the dark ages, reincarnation was written about in the Bible. Jesus even mention about a man who was caught up in the third heaven. Purgatory; an on and off again teaching; is actually talking about reincarnating back to earth. I figured this out when I was four years old.

In the dark ages, the clergy were corrupt and would sell passageway into heaven. They took out all references of reincarnation from the bible because it made their case stronger to sell passage into heaven. They realized that if people knew they would reincarnate, they would be less afraid and less willing to pay for preferential treatment. I learned this in sixth grade social studies class.

Groups are energetic Ponzi schemes. They take in all the energy of the members and dole it out to those who need it as proof that the group is working for them. A group needs more and more energy to keep up the illusion of wealth. There are two ways to get more energy; by converting others or by creating more followers through having children. That is why the indoctrination of the next generation is important. The rules must be strong and fear based to keep people from going elsewhere. But the groups have reached a tipping point. There are fewer people left in the world to convert. So the main way to get more members is to have more children within the group.

Unless children are born within groups, those groups will eventually dwindle down to nothing. That may seem terrifying to some. That is the whole purpose of pushing for pro-life. The groups are in survival mode and will do anything they can to survive; even use its members as pawns to keep its levels up. Not that this is done consciously, but energetically.This truth needs to be said out loud. Those of us who know, know. The people who are taught that babies are being killed through abortion are being used as pawns to keep numbers high. They are creating a ground swelling of emotional drama that grid locks the joy, love, abundance, freedom, quality of life and wholeness for all.

There is no shame in having an abortion. I am actually proud of myself for listening to my inner guidance that prevented me from bringing an unethical person into the world. Ever since I was a child, I wanted to have babies. So when I got pregnant by my first boyfriend, I was so happy. I was too young and insecure to realize what a truly selfish person he was. After we broke up, all his friends told me that he only seemed nice, the time he was with me.

When I got pregnant, I was planning to have the baby out of the emotional desire to be a mother. I would have had to go on welfare and burden society with the cost of raising the child. I was fractured back then by all I had already endured in life. I would not have had the stamina to get out from under being a single mother. But I still was emotionally attached to having a baby. When a young person wants something, it is hard to get through to them.

But then my Spirit Guides, which were the only connection that was actually truth to me, showed me the akashic records of the baby that would be born. My boyfriend, the father, was a juvenile delinquent. He bragged how he set fires on trains and stole money from the elderly. I was shown how this baby was a karmic connection to the father; not me. The father needed the relationship with this baby and it would be like him. It would be selfish and manipulative and drain me of all resources and leave me depleted.

My boyfriend happily scheduled an abortion for me. When we went to the clinic, I was given a waiting room with another woman. She was from India so she had the same point of view I did on the matter. I knew I wasn’t killing anybody, Even in the Bible it said that God made the body of man THEN breathed life into it. I also had been shown so many of my past lives that I knew that we lived regardless of the physical body. It was just an uncomfortable inconvenience.

The young Indian woman and I sat and chatted. We were not emotionally wrenched like in all the other rooms. I am not certain if this is true; but she told me that in India, woman who got pregnant by their husbands, have abortions because they prefer to have babies by their lovers. She spoke of this as a by-product of arranged marriages. It was very funny to me. We were giggling and staff kept poking their heads in. We were the only room that wasn’t energetically charged with gloom. The staff would stick their head in, and you could see them lighten when they saw us engaging in light banter. Their heaviness lifted.

As soon as we got back to the apartment, with no regard for me, my boyfriend got on the phone to his two friend who had pregnant girlfriends and was telling them how easy it was. He was showing me how little he cared for me. Why did I not see that earlier? After more late night drug use and one broken rib over my heart, we separated. I am so grateful that my spirit guides got through to me when no one else could. I have regretted not having children in this life but never regretted not having that one.

I. being the youngest of ten sometimes fantasized about being aborted. I resent that I was brought into such harsh living conditions when there was only contempt for me. My father got a lot of leverage and bragging rights out of having ten children. It was his only sense of accomplishment in this life. Both my parents were dynamic people whose ability to be great was squelched by the responsibility to keep us clothed and alive. Many nights we spent in the dark because the utilities were turned off. Many times we went hungry. Clothing and furniture were all other people’s throw aways. I grew up feeling like a non person.

I understand that there is a physiological transference that happens between the mother and the fetus. In a recent Body Talk session, it was revealed that I was infused with such hatred at 6 weeks of conception because my mother resented the thought of another child. She did had nightmares of being pregnant way before I came along.

I have always felt that anger for me. It is even more invalidating to be imbued with a resentment that can’t be named. Being my mother’s literal nightmare has affected my psyche this whole lifetime. Also the lack of close nurturing has left be pretty devoid of intimate relationships. In my most private thoughts, I am grateful for the Spirit Guides, trees and nature for loving me when no human had it in them to love me. It is by divine intervention, my own perseverance and random kindnesses that prevented me from going the route of a sociopath, I think. I am grateful to be over kind and loving and be compelled to indulge in this extreme than the opposite.

But I still wonder what it would be like to be born to someone, anyone, wanting me.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s