When I was a little girl, there were many times when the electricity was turned off because of lack of payment. One time this happened when I was just starting to understand my world. It was a summer day and I got to play outside all the way until dark. No one called us in for dinner. No one pulled us into the house. The older siblings seemed to have an understanding that I didn’t. They all went into the house before me.
I straggled in a few minutes later. It was an eerie feeling going into a dark house with no understanding of why. There was no one downstairs to explain it to me. There was just a silent figure in the corner that smelled of beer and was smoking a cigar. Looking back, I can see the cocoon of apathy that my father was wrapped in. As a small child, I was dazed by the indifference; although it seemed to be the norm.
I felt my way up the long staircase to one of the bedrooms. I never had my own bed. I was just put into an arbitrary place after I fell asleep most nights. So I didn’t know where to go this night. Tonight the gaggle of kids were piled in one bed at the end of the hall. The mother was on the bed singing to them all. I slipped into the edge of the group unacknowledged. She was comforting them all. I slipped into that realm of comfort for myself tugging at a corner of blanket to hang onto.
The mother was singing her playlist of songs that were everyone’s favorite. She was making the most of the darkness with her lit cigarette. She was making circles by circling the cigarette very fast. She was making a game out of being in the dark. It was comforting everyone. This was my mother at her best. She was so confident and strong that it was a thing of beauty seeing her be nurturing as well. Being comforted and empowered by her in her element was an incredible moment.
The last sound healing session that I facilitated, brought this experience flooding back. When I was singing sweet and empowering tones to all the participants, I entered the role that my mother had entered that night. I felt like the mother to all the participants. Not in any condescending way; but I felt that I was channeling pure Mother Goddess energy to all the participants who were sitting in the darkness of the earths limited light. I was the one comforting and empowering them in a way that my mother did for her children that night.
This is the same loving intention that I bring to every group session, every private session, every word of my books, and to every guest on my radio show. I understand that lonely and uncertain feeling that happens on a primal level. I understand the comfort and reassurance that someone needs when they are dealing with their issues. They feel so overwhelmed and like no one can help them find their way out.
I show them the way out. There always is. I have led so many souls out of that maze of uncertainty and into the certainty of their empowerment. I am here. My group sessions are profound. My books are here for humanity now. There is a way for everyone to find the way to their empowerment. They need only take the initiative.