Gratitude For Keeping Me Alive

Ten years ago, I was laying on a cold basement floor resolved to die of starvation. I would wake up before sunrise and wait for the captor to give me the command to get dressed to prepare and work outside until after sunset. I would frantically dress and await for him to drill me about my dreams. He was looking for any information he needed on what the next step was in my demise.

Little did either he or I know, that my spirit guides were preparing me to have the strength to get myself out of there. They would show me the apartment that I would live in one short month later and showed me the new people who I would meet in my new life. Most everyone that I had known before the captivity would not accept me back into their world. Only a couple special gems would embrace me after disappearing for a year.

The captor could not possible know that every night, I was taken to this seminar-like atmosphere that was set up for many visitors. It was a recurring dream that I had every night. I would be in a hotel setting that was prepared to receive a lot of guests at this special event. Sometimes I sat in the seats like everyone else. But sometimes I was in a back hall with everyone waiting for me to appear.

In the first few months, there were only a few people who were sitting in the chairs. It comforted me that they were there. They seemed to make it easier to get through the waking days. A very few were people I knew were in the crowds. The rest I did not know who they were then but they were familiar to me. It comforted me to be with them. It was as if being with them in my dreams, kept me nurtured from an otherwise socially deprived existence.

Being with them kept me alive. At the ending of my captivity the group swelled to multitudes. Now I know who those people were. They were you. The people who kept me alive with their company are the people here who read my posts and support me in sharing my gifts. Since time and space are an illusion and all is happening at once, you are nurturing that starving, cold deprived version of me so I could get here to assist you in totally awakening.

The resort setting is the Hotel that I facilitated was my first retreat this May. I recognized the Hotel from my dreams when we went to check out the facility. The date was also chosen for me from a dream I had twelve years ago. It is at the same time as the international Lilac Festival in my home town of Rochester, New York. The Ancient ones who Guide me, have had an agenda for me all along. They were feeding me the details in my dreams.

The dreams during captivity were of my spirit guides showing me how many people I would help just by surviving and sharing my gifts. I needed all that encouragement to overcome the daily torture, brainwashing, starvation, harsh weather, sleep deprivation and sensory deprivation that I endured. Knowing on a subtle level, that I would know all of you and have your love and support, kept me alive.

Ten years ago, I will have made the journey to my freedom. I was half dead and terrified but alive and excited as well. All kind of fears and curses from the captor were met to get away from that experiences. It was surreal and unimaginable at the time. But it was done and the gifts that I now access, took a long time to be drawn out of a terrified brainwashed emaciated stupor.

The date of my escape is the only special day that I celebrate. I am mostly alone since my reemergence into society and live like a monk. I spend my days writing, doing healing work for individuals and the world and tending the needs of my furry family inside and out. This year, I am celebrating by opening up more and more to assisting others than I could not have possibly fathomed even knowing; except of course in my dreams. I came back to society thinking I was a retarded boy. As articulate as I write, that is the simple mentality that I operate from.

It is a very vulnerable way to live. It took me ten years to build up the courage to be physically present with others. It is no less than a miracle that I am reaching you all with these words. It took so much endurance and resilience merely to live in a sea of people where there was no love for me. How ironic that I teach others how to love beyond all outer limitations and in all situations. My insights have been developed and honed honestly through a personal quest to experience love.

As a way to reach more and more of the community that has kept me alive, more and more venues have been created to allow me to assist as many souls as I can in the world. Since I have returned, many people have experienced energetic shifts in themselves that have experienced great transformations. They have seen great shifts in the world as a result of my group sessions geared to benefitting all of humanity.  My goal is that everyone overcome whatever limitations that may hinder them in any way. May they access their gifts and talents as a way to pour their incredible love into the world

One of the side affects of surviving being starved and tortured nearly to death is the ease in which I am able to love. This love pours out into everything I write and you are all benefactors of that great resource now. My books are not merely worlds but a conduit and an equation to reach higher consciousness. Another way to connect deeper to those I love is the group sessions that I facilitate weekly. They are accessible to those who really want to realize their own omnipotence in the world.

These are a couple of the ways you have access to me and my love and gratitude and specially honed gifts. I am fearless in speaking truth and empowering others because I went through the process of enlightenment and know that I was kept alive to do exactly what I do. I am grateful to have such purpose and am completely immersed in sharing all my gifts so that you can uncover all of yours.

My next retreat is this September 8th and 9th. The one in May was a reunion of souls who have never met in this life before. The love and transformation were incredible. In this upcoming retreat, we will be blurring the line between animate and inanimate life. As this line is what keeps people enslaved to linear limitations. I will also be reintroducing the attendees to their childlike wonder through releasing their resistance to play. It will be dynamic energy work disguised in play.

I would love to see you at the retreat. You can register to attend here. http://www.jenuinehealing.com/

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