I love your depth and honesty. There is another layer to you feeling alone perhaps. You may be tapping into the Universal feeling of loneliness that is permeating this planet right now. We have been conditioned as a species to be isolated in thoughts and feelings. It is a form of control. You may be releasing this issue, not only for your self but for all of humanity.
It is a noble thing to face, express, distinguish and release. Thank you for your heart and depth. This is not a defense of any reaction or drama around it. That is merely a process of trying to figure out what has been kept from us. The reason we feel so flawed as individuals is that we have been kept privy of the whole equation of our dynamic makeup. It is like trying to resolve a math problem without all the variable. You do better than most.
Sending love and encouragement to you and all the struggling God beings working to transcend without access to the blueprint. It is Amazing so many still try. But we will succeed. This is what this lifetime is for, That is why you and I write. I appreciate your truth in the world.