Search and Rescue

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I delve into a pool of quiet conviction
Emerge in a sweat soaked sheet of despair
Believing you have left me somehow
As I reach for you and find nothing there

Sounds have become tinny and off key
Vision has been blurred through the tears
I am dim witted and dumbfound
To feel that my God doesn’t care

I have fought for you through many lifetimes
Ruthlessly defended your stance
Shamelessly praised you until my voice was left raw
But cant even feel you in any romance

All of the victory claims
All of the conjecturing from within
All of the pompous deflecting
Went the way of my original sin

Each kindness is now a sweet victory
From foolish brash hearted pride
It is in emptying myself of all else
That I can feel you welling inside

Now I understand your true nature
It is as pure as a hint of the wind
It is the stillness now that embraces me
Causing all subtle doubt to rescind

You are the Light, the Love and the Music
You are the curve of my smile
I searched for you with every advantage
You sat with me all of the while

Now I know how to serve you
By greeting you in all that I meet
No longer is ego my barometer
Its been the victor in every defeat

“Sir, Let me walk with you sweetly”
Let me carry your ware
By lightening the load of another
I will always feel God everywhere

Jen Ward

3/20/17

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