When I worked extensively with dogs, I realized how attached they were to their collars. When their owner would drop them off to be bathed, it was obvious that the collar was their connection to their human. They would get anxious as their collar was removed. It made them feel that they were losing their connection to their human. It was their security and connection to their life.
As I took off their collar, I would praise it, no matter how tattered it was. I would reassure them that their human loved them and how special they were because they had a beautiful collar that was given to them. The whole point was to reassure them that they were not going to have to give up their collar, that they were only being separated from it temporarily and being free of the collar did not mean that they were abandoned. They were still loved and safe regardless of whether they were wearing their collar or not.
This is a similar dynamic that I see people experience in relationship to their persona. They identify so strongly with their image and presence that they want to be reassured over and over that it is a good one. Having their image praised is their way of being reassured that they are loved, valued and safe. If people need to have their image; or some aspect of them; praised to feel validated, what is the harm in giving it to them. I see validating other people as rewarding as validating the little dog who needed to be reassured that its owner was coming back to him. Why can’t we do this for others?
It is because we were programmed to quantify ourselves in relationship to others in a pecking order. We were taught that if we rated someone else with positive traits that we were also rating ourselves in relationship to them and maybe it would mean at a lower status than them. This is the lie and limitation of linear thinking.
In actuality, we are seeing our own traits mirrored for us in others. More people have an understanding that this is true. What this means is that if one goes around proclaiming others as unattractive, undesirable or being catty towards them in any way, it actually reveals and ugliness in the person making such observations. One who sees beauty and goodness in others is revealing their own beauty and goodness. Practicing this simple awareness could create an evolution of blossoming individuality.
There is no need to diminish anyone’s collar. It is so much more admiral to secure the confidence of others with your words and thoughts. Just think of others as an extension of your own face. In doing that, you will be transcending archaic programming and will be promoting a huge healing shift in consciousness within yourself and others. You are the beauty that you see in others. Seeing beauty in others is finding it within yourself.