Between the Stillness and the Sky


I met myself one peaceful night
On glass ice dusted with snow
I awoke from a paralyzing stupor
To tell me what I needed to know

Others will find me inferior
This life will be my cruelest test
That I’ll be admonished, humiliated and scorned
All while I am trying my best

It told me that life wasn’t about being fair
That that was a quaint little notion
My ego will be literally pulverized
My spirit will nearly be broken

The pleasures that others live for
For me would be hard to attain
Every hope and desire will be stripped clear away
Til my true self is all that remains

I told myself this to prepare me
As solace for the upcoming years
The real me knew what lay waiting ahead
The loneliness, anguish and tears

The real me gave me compassion
As I walked silently under the stars
It was the me that saw the whole picture
The journey, the struggle, the scars

I felt that kindness within me
A wisdom that dwelt deeper than pain
It gave me the love to endure knowing
Someday It’d be the only me to remain

Whenever I’m lost, alone or afraid
Or feel like I’m living a lie
I know I can always find my true self
Between the stillness and the sky

Jen Ward 2/6/15

The Loneliest Experience


When I spent the year in involuntary confinement, I had to work through the nights pulling out huge trees stumps. It was an excuse to keep me outside because I wasn’t wanted. I would be laying in the dirt working to dig out the roots with a flash light. I was hungry and lonely. The house was a good ways away and I would watch the window hoping beyond all hopes that “he” would come out to see me and tell me I could come in the house.

I would watch the dining room window looking for a sign that I was going to get to come in the house. I would watch the neighbors window and see movement there. I would fantasize about them coming over, seeing me working and invite me into their home and feed me. I actually thought it was a possibility that someone, any one would care enough to acknowledge me and show me some kindness. My hopes were deflated when the lights went off for the night. It was such a sinking feeling.

It was a devastating lonely existence. I was cold, lonely, hungry and tired and knew that no one cared. That everyone else had warmth and comfort and I had none. No one was going to rescue me.I felt like I was going to spend forever in this predicament because no one was going to give me permission to come in.

This is the experience that plays out a million times over by people who chain their dogs up in their back yard. They are pack animals They want to be inside among the people and have a sense of belonging as much as I did. They deserve it. Their feelings and their quality of life are just as important as mine.

If everyone knew how excruciating this experience is, they would not inflict it on another. Pets need to be treated with compassion. It is hard for me to think of anyone experiencing what I did; regardless of whether they are in a dog body or not. They deserve a sense of belonging. To do less is cruel.

To All Those Suffering in Isolation:


© 2017 Jenuine Healing. All rights reserved.

I love your depth and honesty. There is another layer to you feeling alone perhaps. You may be tapping into the Universal feeling of loneliness that is permeating this planet right now. We have been conditioned as a species to be isolated in thoughts and feelings. It is a form of control. You may be releasing this issue, not only for your self but for all of humanity.
It is a noble thing to face, express, distinguish and release. Thank you for your heart and depth. This is not a defense of any reaction or drama around it. That is merely a process of trying to figure out what has been kept from us. The reason we feel so flawed as individuals is that we have been kept privy of the whole equation of our dynamic makeup. It is like trying to resolve a math problem without all the variable. You do better than most.
Sending love and encouragement to you and all the struggling God beings working to transcend without access to the blueprint. It is Amazing so many still try. But we will succeed. This is what this lifetime is for, That is why you and I write. I appreciate your truth in the world.

Nurturing the Child

pooh's babydoll 003

© 2017 Jenuine Healing. All rights reserved.


Part of the loneliness and isolation so many of us feel is because we are separated from our purpose and from the primal urge to share our gifts. From such an early age we are directed to reading and writing as a way to fit into society and thrive. But only a fraction of children learn this way.


Those that don’t learn best by reading and writing are labeled slow learners and medicated as a means of managing them. There are so many children that just don’t have the temperament to sit in chairs for hours and listen. The need to do, touch, see, express, sing, dance, experience and share. What a waste of resources to allow these children to waste away in a setting that is non indicative of their way of learning.


Think about the present structure of schools. It was set into place during the puritanical times when children were thought to only be seen and not heard. In so many ways, that motto is still being played out because so many children are not being seen or heard.


When I was in my early twenties, I lived in an inner city neighborhood where there were houseful of children just running around unsupervised. The noise level was unbearable. So I befriended all the children and started to teach them. I not only worked on preparing them better for learning, I taught them ethics and kindness to each other.


These screaming, fighting obnoxious children were so attentive and demure when we would meet on my porch for their studying. When they laughed at one child’s abilities, they soon realized that was not the cool thing to do. I was not equipped to teach so many children but I knew how pliable children are to learning if they are validated as individuals and given the respect they deserve. Of course I learned what all great teachers already realize. They were all just needing validation and to be recognized as special.


There are shows on now, that showcase special talents of very young children. Not many of them are centered around reading and writing. What every young child expert has in common is someone who nurtures them and recognizes their talents when they are revealed. Otherwise the talents will melt away as if they didn’t exist.


When I was about ten, I showed many signs of artistry and talents. I made my own stuffed animals, taught myself to knit using two pencils, discovered embroidery using an iron-on patch and threads in my mother’s sewing machine, made a whole nativity set out of play-doh and even made a bathing suit out of a polyester pant leg at one point. There were so many signs of creativity there. If only someone had encouraged them. If only I had more access to encouragement and supplies.


I think of all the children out there who are just barely getting their needs met. Then I think of all the lonely people in adult homes who are so desperately wanting company. Why does this society compartmentalized demographics so much? Perhaps nurseries and schools should be located next to senior citizen facilities so these two demographics can assist each other.


The controlling archaic factions are crumbling away under the sheer weight of themselves. It is time to rejuvenate the education system and allow the good teachers, the ones thriving under impossible conditions to lead the way. They are the ones who are living their purpose. When one lives their purpose, they are innately plugged into higher truth.